Hobo Drifters

Driver/Guides WTF?

First things first. Summary of a summer as a Driver/Guide.



The first thing I did upon arrival was start to question my decision to be a Driver/Guide for a second summer. Driver-Guiding is definitely not a normal lifestyle, basically a position made up by Carnival Corporation as a last ditch effort to cut costs by combining two postitions. The number one lesson I want everyone who reads this blog to take away is that tourism is both bogus and sad. For example, I gave tours of the city of Anchorage on a fairly regular basis that were composed entirely of information I read on wikipedia. Anyways, the following is a list of things that sucked about being a driver/guide. (to be updated regularly).

1. Giving tours (tourism in general).
2. Working as many hours as legally possible on a regular basis. (80 in 8 days).
3. Crystal Smith (the woman behind the green curtain).
4. Healy/The Death Star. (better not to ask.)
5. Collecting Vouchers. (the bain of Ben Fuller's existance).
6. "Pumpkin time." (cinderella reference/really irritating).
7. Dial-a-Dispatch. (this is the daily dispatch for... $@#*!).